Monday, 25 July 2011

Exposed White Flesh and Mags frightens the children.

I decided to walk Sam at the park after duly considering what the beach would hold in store. Also did not have my dark glasses and with all the sunshine and blinding exposed flesh about, I was bound to get a little blind. Did you see the squirrel nailing a chestnut?

The park was no better, the tops where covered, just, but the Pom’s careless disregard for proper dress sense seems to manifest itself when the sun comes out and the temperature tops 20 deg C.

Over exposed legs, melons awaiting picking and tattoos, the mind boggles, the senses overload and still they come. Legs that should be covered are exposed, boobs that need support are left to their own proportions of gravity, always South and lads showing white, pigeon chests and the odd tattoo dazzle the dropped melon.

Talking of getting uneasy, today Sam came to me looking strangely agitated. With the boys on summer holiday anyone might have arrived, so I did not take too much notice until he growled from the office.
There is that squirrel again, did you see it?
I went through and there was Mags ironing in the lounge, Robert wanted to know what she was doing and Michael came down to find out if she was alright? Talking about scaring the children, I was very unsure about what to do.

‘Hi Margaret would you like some tea?.

‘No thank you’.

Is the squirrel relevant?

That sort of completes the supernatural. I was picked over 102 other contestants to do the NEW Audi A7 launch. Now I know how Leonardo felt when he was asked to paint that ceiling. But he had a patron and was a little weird. I will do so much for mankind, a humble beginning with the Audi, then, to infinite and beyond is what my friend Buzz always said.

Just to finish, Robert on his last day of work experience and was taken by the Benefit Officers to a Schizophrenia safe house for mad people. When he got there he was followed around by one of these strange people, reminiscent of One Flew Over the Cookoos Nest. He described it as sketchy. What a word, what is happening to the English language?

What is with it with the squirrel? Did you not see the squirrel?

What? Oh the squirrel is not important?

1 comment:

  1. Hilarious!!!! Love the pickled melons bit!!!! X

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