Sunday, 18 December 2016

A Walk in the Park

Winter and the time comes when the trees are bare, but my words are brighter. This change in creative urge awakens subconscious thoughts, re-evaluates how I interpret an everyday scenario. From this ebb and nothing, comes a new consciousness of the most trivial of events, creating a story with thoughts so strong its bursts the fruit. 

Evening descending early, our sun low in the sky, dusk setting around me, as if the darkness is growing too great to be opposed by the failing sun. My eyes adjust to the lowlight allowing me enough sight to reveal the peace of the evening.

Walking in Poole park and I realise just how well I have come to know the  place. Every tree we pass, every stream we cross, hold memories and associations. I recognise flowers, swans with their signets, trees of particular favourite to Sam and seasonal plants. The light at different times the day or the clouds forming when the air is warm and the wind turns to the north-east. The wild flowers I expect to see in fields or woodland and those which catch me by surprise because I was inattentive. I would not say I understand it, more that I and this land come to an understanding. Makes sense to me. I know I will not return from here now, the thought of life elsewhere is not tolerable. I was asked if I was happy here. I have had moments when the beauty of Africa was almost too much to be bear and I ache for it. I am a scarred man and I underestimate the extent of that damage. I would still rather be scarred, knowing what I know, then have that knowledge taken away or to have learnt it and remained untouched by it. I keep myself busy and that is the main thing. 

This is my life now for better or worse. I shared the sensibilities of those around me and that carries enough acceptance to tolerate the inevitable differences. I'm freer than I would be elsewhere, and you know that is always important to me. Although, even here, I have needed to act at times for the perceived good of the community in ways I doubt the wisdom of. Inevitable, I suppose.
What did I see of consequence, do to plan, add as achievement?

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