Sunday, 31 October 2010

Middle Smiths come and go in 2 short days

Gary and Claudia of Middle Smiths arrived just before 8:30 Saturday evening, slightly later than expected due in part to Gary wanting to show Claudia more of the country side than originally expected or maybe Gary's navigational skills were a little rusty, we will never know. Arrived safely, they did, and that is all that really matters. On route from Germany to Germany, they flew to Stanstead, north of London and hiring a car, bravely drove down to Poole, Borough of Winterdale, bringing the sunshine with them.

We expected them and were quite exhausted by the time they arrived, what with a major cleaning of the house, car and garden, as well as preparing a traditional Beef and Yorkshire Pudding dinner. The wine and their arrival put back the spring in our step and within no time were catching up.

The first question we asked ourselves was what to do with them while they were here. If they have a really good time they will come again, if not, well you never know. Pulling a few strings we got tickets, thanks to Feter of Faydales, for Compton Acres as a Saturday adventure. Some tickets are very difficult to come by and much sort after in the botanical world.

Sunday morning saw the 6 of us eating out in style at Tesco café for a full English breakfast treat. After much cajoling, we finally managed to get Claudia to stop shopping with the promise that Tesco would be open on Monday and we would let her loose on those unsuspecting aisles of English and European products for as long as she wanted.

Compton Acres delighted us all from the moment we arrived, walking into a beautiful Italian garden with nude statues and spiders. Gary and Claudia made us take numerous photographs posing next to very detailed Italian porn statues and then Gary lost interest and started looking for spiders. He found many in the 10 acres of gardens of the world, finishing our walk through the Japanese garden we sought sustenance in the coffee shop for a light lunch. Must develop the photographs now so will complete this blog on our other adventures with the Middle Smiths.

Friday, 29 October 2010

The Silence

It has been a while since my last blog, I have been silent, that is not to say that there has been silence.

I have been watching this series on television about 5 people who go on a retreat to a monastery. They do not have mobile phone, computers, radios, in fact no technological devise. They have books and prayers and silence. On the first day they find themselves very lonely, no one to talk too made them lonely. They were not alone but as we all know you can be in a crowded plane flying long distance and feel lonely. Lonely for those we love and are normally with.

Their spiritual mentor, Brother John, felt that after some time in silence they will ask the question, is this all there is? He told them to listen, really listen, the answers will come.

I admire his strong belief, his total conviction that God is there and will answer their question. God will help them when they question why, as they waver in their resolution to see the quest through. Why has he such strong belief? He seems a reasonable articulate man but still believes so completely that God will provide the answers. In fact, he said it is as certain as night follows day.

This unwaving belief in a God that leaves me a little uneasy.

If silence is the answer to finding out if you believe there is a god, what will make us all start to listen, listen to mother earth, really listen and when we start to hear, will we hear the grieving as a species ceases to exist?

Saturday, 16 October 2010

This advancing year

Once again I find myself watching young lads trying to destroy small white balls as they hone their skills in the noble art of Golf. Michael has started his first day at Staples and Merlin is out with the girls 'doing tea'. The wireless is playing Rocky Racoon by the Beatles, must listen to that when you have a chance, the scene is set for another episode of Middle Earth.

As the soft autumn sun warms the earth we must take care of our winter stock pile, wood is gathered for the fire and windows repaired to stop that cold air creeping into the home. The last of the tomatoes collected for jam and chutney before the first frost burns them off. I have already made tomato chutney, good spicy flavour with a bite from the generous amount of fresh chilli, I will be making tomato jam this weekend and I will part cook and freeze the last of the ripe tomatoes. Mus from Musmead Manor has baled the last of the hay and Robert has changed his duvet for a thick one.

With winter fast approaching I have decided to start running again, before my hips give in, tomorrow morning I will be out with Sam and Merlin to begin rebuilding this body of mine. Fitness always brings a healthy body and a healthy mind, more alert; bring back that spring in ones step. I suggest we have a Middle Earth Charity Run this December, all those within driving distance to be at Middle Earth beach car park by 9am on the 5th December. I will post a map closer to the time. Those that live further afield can run, cycle or walk at the same time at a place of their choosing. This does mean that Matt, Angela and Lily Florence of Underdickens, Ozdale will be the first to start as they are 10 hours ahead of us, followed by those in Southdale and then finally central Middle Earth, which is the rest of us.

In preparation for this I suggest you all start exercising for at least 20 minutes every 2nd day.

Finally Lily Florence has released photographs from her latest collection, click the link below. What an outstanding album it is, real ballet dancers.


The last of the summer BBQ’s

It all comes to as at some stage of our lives. We are having a BBQ, fooled by the midday warm sun into thinking that the evening will be just perfect for a BBQ. We are easily fooled, the sun has lost its heat, the air is taking on a cooler cloth and we are miserably sitting outside wondering what happened to the t shirt weather we basked in. I proclaim this to be the last BBQ this year and I am a little relieved that this time has finally convinced us of the fact that summer only lasts a day.
Words don't come easily when you are rubbing your hands together to keep them warm, fellow citizens of Middle Earth, I do it for you and I know you depend on this daily news release to help you plan you days of toil ahead.

I must admit to be 4 days later, I started this blog on Sunday and never finished it. Blame it on work, that will do and I am sure you all have those weeks when times just flies.

Michael has joined Staples, a computer and stationary chain of stores, he will be paid more than 50% more than his previous job and that is serious money for a 16 year old lad. Saturday he works at Staples and Sunday he has 3 more Sundays at Poole Pottery. I must admit I never saw him as the face of Poole Pottery, too delicate.

Gary of Middle Smiths has said farewell to his emissary to Anotherdale and the Swampland with a full list of product he aims to sell to the peasants. Bold move and valuable marketing information will be gained by this exploratory visit. We at Middle Earth Commerce await the report with keen interest.


Saturday, 9 October 2010

Great Expectations

I know you are thinking of Charles Dickens of Underdickens but you are wrong. Gussell of Georgedale has launched Great Expectation, with the by line – expect the unexpected! In small writing he states "Safaris and Lodges". Middle Earth already has a lodge and this new venture will be part of our lodge. I have no idea what his new company will be up to and can only expect the unexpected. Is there anyone who may have some idea as to the nature of this new business?

Now on to another matter of some importance. The questioned was asked 'What happened to Lizzie' Our journey of enquiry has taken us through all the archives of Middle Earth and we heard of a man in Anotherdale who had a ancient copy of the Middleday Book, a chronicle of land transactions before Middle Earth established its archive. Thought to be lost, this priceless book could give us answers to many questions about our ancestors. Gary of Middle Smiths was sending an agent to Anotherdale, he has this new venture selling umbrellas and food to the peasants of Anotherdale – see previous blog, he took a letter from me to the ancient archivist of Anotherdale in which I humbly requested a copy of the book for our archive. We will now have to be patient until we receive our reply.

We did find one tantalizing bit of information. A picture of Claudia of Middle Smiths, formally of the Claudosa era, except it is over 100 years old. This is clearly not Claudia of Middle Smiths as she is still a young woman. But the other intriguing fact is that it is originally from the Claudosa province of Italy. The caption is the most puzzling fact to emerge from this badly preserved document. We could just make out the name at the bottom of the image. Claudia by Lizzie Willox 1891. A striking resemblance to Claudia of Middle Smiths. We can now only wait for the Middleday Book from Anotherdale.

All this comes at a time of celebration in the Middle Smiths household as Gary of Middle Smiths has another birthday, I sure he had one just last year?

Friday, 8 October 2010

Middle Earth celebrates another birthday

Saturday 9th October 1978 Gary of Middle Smiths was born. The Mars was aligned with Venus and the bright, lover boy was born. Not in a manger but far from his home. This tubby baby grew into a valued member of the Middle Earth family. None would have thought he would go to the dark side and proclaim the virtues of the apple orchards. The Middle Smiths are well known apple creator who exports ideas and food to those less fortunate then us. Anotherdale and the badlands have been badly hit by crop failures, while Swampdale has had more than average rainfall. It rains there every day but the change of climate, global warming, has lead to rain in the evenings as well. Those bunnies must be a little damp. Gary of Middle Smiths is selling umbrellas and from all accounts this is going well. Claudia of Middle Smiths, formally of the Claudosa Era, daughter of Brono Claudosa, has also helped and is selling pasta and sauce to the peasants.

Fulia of Faydale has posted a comment with regards to her new bathroom. Feter of Faydale, the inn keeper for Heatherdale, send me the photograph of this beautiful retro style bathroom, the community of Middle Earth is all a twitter at its glam.

Sunday, 3 October 2010

Fulia New Bathrooms

Fulia of Faydale has redecorated in a big way, she did not stop with the new lick of paint, she put a new bathroom in, plumbed the pipes and glued the tiles. As you can see the results are stunning to say the least.(Click image to enlarge) Retro style with 1940’s shaver, 21st century hair enhancers, there are three girls in that house and one ex milkman who is now pub keeper for The Old Heatherdale Freehouse. I am very impressed with the retro style taps, the Redkins colour balance conditioner and the head and shoulders shampoo for mother’s hair. Talking of mothers, Fulia’s mother has applied to be the Magistrate for Middle Earth. Now Maureen of Sabindale, famous sailors of Heinz shipping, is one fine lass and I will endorse anyone who is prepared to second this motion. Fulia of the Borough Association will have to verify eligibility. I have attached a photographic image of the said Maureen of Sabindale.I am please to announce that Middle Earth library is now stocking large print for those with eyes that have seen their best years. After running a survey it was found that most of us wear or should wear glasses. In future books loaned to: Merlin, Fulia of Faydale, Mally and Mus of Musmead Manor, Gussell of Georgedale, Gary of Middlesmiths, The Matriarch and those who do not admit to being a little blind, will all be offered large print in future. One can never be too careful when dealing with peoples eyes.
Thought for the day from the Middle Earth news desk.
In a legless world the man with one leg is king.
Breaking news from the Middle Earth news desk.
It's impossible to be happy while your mother in law is still alive.
Weather for the next 24 hours is expected to be fine, except for the valleys of Mountaindale. Heavy clouds will be sweeping down from the mountains and then drenching Winterdale and then moving on to Ozdale. Check your local radio station for updates.