Saturday, 27 November 2010

Icy winds and snow

An early winter greeted us as we woke to this cold spell. -2° C and with the Siberian wind it felt more like -20° C. I took Robert to Golf and he was driving onto a snow covered fairway. Hardy son of mine he went on to win the mini tournament.

Gary is in the same part of the world as Angela, I do not know if they have had time to catch up with their busy schedules but will soon I am sure. Hopefully Mark is looking after the rest of the family left alone in South Africa.

I have opened a bottle of South African wine for the first time in a while, such good wines, easy drinking with loads of flavour and fruit. Christmas has sweep into full stream here and all the shops are very busy. More than that there is panic buying and the normal subservient Brit is becoming aggressive. Susan went into Dolphin Center and was fortunate enough to purchase two bags full of presents, one bag was for her but I made all the encouraging noises so as to keep the momentum going. We then went in search of deep snow on the Purbecks. Church Knowles and Tyne Village had their fair amount but not what I expected, will do a run tomorrow and show you the photographs. This year Micheal claims will be a white Christmas.

I am sure you have all seen the Audi A1 Launch in New Zealand, if not just go to Facebook and type in Audi A1 NZ and you can see all those amazing photos. What a Pod they built, real genius and attention to detail. Love the shot of Gary looking at the camera wondering what to do with that bendy board in his hands. Classic Facebook.


Friday, 26 November 2010

Mulled Wine

Christmas is on us again, It was only yesterday I said to 'she who must be obeyed' that we have just had Christmas and the wireless (DAB Digital radio for the young) is saying it is 30 days to Christmas. This view I have while writing is filled with a bottle of Mulled Wine. I am so pleased it is festive again, Blueberry, Orange, Cinnamon, Coriander, Lemon, Nutmeg, Fennel and Cardamom are all packed into this bottle of Mulled Wine, I am surprised they have room for any liquid. Merlin adores Mulled Wine and will saviour every mouthful, she will take a month to drink the bottle but wella it is packed full of so many herbs and spices it must be sooo healthy.

Gary of Middle Smiths has been raving it around New Zealand, from reliable sources it is said that he was seen with Pamagor waltzing around the promenade of the capitals of New Zealand, must be New London or something. I say no more.......... Google it if you that interested.

I am on my way to Tesco, yes Gussell Tesco, to wander around those beautifully filled isles of such decadent wares that the heart is in another step. Pamagor eat your heart out. Who is this Cad in such exquisite clothes?

Robert has had a teacher's assessment and what a peculiar event that was. I am a little concerned as the school has just received a very bad report on its teaching potential. Robert is a clever lad who applies himself to the task in hand better than most. The school seems to think he is not applying himself enough. What rot. I will say no more on the subject as I was not there.

Michael has received an award for excellence; his was one of the 10% achievers in his year. Considering the pathetic results the school received this is a worthy award.

I have ranted and raved enough for this wee blog and will sign off now, suffice to say teachers have an uphill task and then they get bad management.

Last of all, Middle Earth sends birthday wishes to Angela of Underdickens in Ozdale. Happy 21st , enjoy the day.



Saturday, 20 November 2010

Rain has set in

This has been a week of drenching school runs, walking the dog becomes a rain dodging challenge. The cold, wet weather has come in from Europe, carried by strong winds, filling the already swollen rivers, flooding dear little Cornwall. St Austell getting a month of rain in an hour and a half.

I notice from the blog notice board that Claudia of Middle Smiths, formally of the Claudosa era, I must stop saying that as we all know sweet gentle Claudia is from noble Italian ancestry. Anyway back to the morning she had the unfortunate accident. I quote:

'That Audi Q5... little Ashley (from next door) dared to leave her scooter in our driveway...well one little scooter against a fiery Italian in a dashing black Q5...pure unadulterated destruction. (we're going to have to put a rating on this site soon, last blog involved porn)'

I have a feeling that her language after the event would probably need to be rated but as for the previous blog containing porn, that was only in your imagination.

Well! Let us get down to earth again, namely Middle Earth. News is that Merlin and Mags are attending a fashion show in Westbourne this afternoon. Merlin has been invited to add that glamorous touch and Mags, well we can only hope she does not scare too many off this ancient art of displaying designs from budding artists. These young designers are a very delicate crew who get terrified easily. I will let you know what transpires after the event as I am definitely not attending.

I finished the last blog with 'Is there no end to this madness?' It seems Fulia has some interesting facts on this womanly man. He admits to crying when watching the loo paper ads, I must say the little Labrador is quite sweet but what he has to do with loo paper defies me. Fulia also found out that he is more inclined to shop at Marks and Spencer than the trendy shops like Top Shop. Primark and TK Max are to him a definite no, no. It will be interesting to see if he shows his face at the fashion show in Westbourne. Maybe Merlin should take a camera. When I asked Fulia how she knew so much about Pamagor, she became extraordinarily evasive. Mumbling something about having to bake a fruit cake!!

Thursday, 18 November 2010

Autumn and its kaleidoscope of colours

Autumn has to be the ultimate mosaic of natural colours that one season can offer. The trees are the colour, contributing to the pastel tones rather than the flowers of summer. The leaves hang like Japanese paper lanterns, showing a wide range of colours from deep red through golden yellow to listless white, leaves ready to fall, after fulfilled nature's cycle of life. I have always said that autumn is my favourite time of the year and this year is no exception.

Femma of Faydale is studiously completing her last year at Brighton University and we will hopefully see her in the next week or two. Femma will be continuing her studies on the Middle Earth dialect and its subtle nuances that this rich language has to offer. I am sure she is very excited at seeing Fess's little terrier. The Wesleydale Terriers have been synonymous with Middle Earth, they are popular dogs in the Oakdale region and Markus Smith is indeed very happy with his Wesleydale puppy he has just bought for Travis.

BBC TV 1 has a program on Victorian farmers and this creates some interesting recipes of old. Old farmhouse chicken really caught me attention.

Layer a casserole dish with 5 rashers of bacon, one sliced onion and then put the chicken in. Add three carrots diced and a pinch of dried basil, parsley and oregano. Season well and cook for 1 hour covered and then a further 30 minutes uncovered at 180 deg C. Serve with new potatoes and seasonal vegetables.

Finally Pamagor was seen at Top Shop browsing their early winter collection. Gussell was tipped of and arrived just too late as Pamagor sped off in his purple Ka. Is there no end to this madness?

Tuesday, 16 November 2010

Royal Marriages

Middle Earth has been fortunate in receiving numerous items of news this Tuesday. Markus popped in to show me some photographs he had taken of Travis and his first bike race. What a racer, sleek blue helmet and body hugging racing t shirt the boy did us proud. Watch this racing number for the future.

Angela arrived, unexpectedly with a request for a new razor for Matt of Ozdale. Angela and Lily are getting increasingly irritated at having their faces scratched every time Matt gives them a kiss. He is very affectionate that way and rightly so.

Also the palace press secretary dropped us a line to say that they were admitting another commoner to the Royal house. They do take a while to learn a lesson. Middle Earth was warned in advance as William has a lodge in Southdale. Quite right that we should be told in advance and now I can let you all know in advance of this happy occasion that you will all be hounded by the press. Stiff upper lip. Thoughts must go to who will be one of the bridesmaids; Mika, Lily and Fess are all keen so I will put their names forward. All will be exceptional ambassadors of Middle Earth.

Pamagor has opened a sanctuary for wayward women, comfy double beds and unique red lights. It does remind me of Goodbye Ruby Tuesday.

Tea demands attention, sleep well.

Pamagor, exploring the beautiful myths

Eating chocolate gives you spots – no, it does not, that is a fact but you should keep an eye on your sugar intake for an overall healthy complexion. There are so many myths and I will bring you a few over the next few Middle Earth Health Columns.

Pamagor was seen wearing a leather jacket, denim jacket, black t shirt, ladies combat slacks and purple boots. Gussell is getting nearer to discovering the true identity of Pamagor. He followed up on two leads, one at Faydale Park, Pamagor seen walking a Wesleydale Terrier on a choker chain but this came to nought. The other was more promising, Tesco clothing sales, I know Claudia, formally of Claudosa now of Middle Smiths, hard to believe but alas a wild goose chase none the less. I do believe that Markus Smith has been approached to help the aging Gussell in his quest to expose that Cad, Pamagor. The Matriarch would have called him a loveable rogue.

Matt of Ozdale has lost his razor and is appealing for anyone with an old razor to send it to him, he is looking a little tatty above the lip. Talking of tatty, all the Australian Rugby players are sporting a Movember except for their kicker, he is too young. UK beat Oz and that is that. SA player sent home to top up their drugs and Ireland broke. Till anon.

Friday, 12 November 2010

No Fruit Cake

With loads of enthusiasm we set off to Fulia of Faydales to enjoy afternoon tea and fruit cake. Fulia makes the best fruit cake in Faydale. Well, no fruit cake, Fulia was painting Fess's room bright blue. Tea and a chat is all we got, big apologies but at the end of the day no fruit cake. I leave you to judge this!! Fess has a puppy, a little Wesleydale Terrier, who follows her around. Fess now works in Customer Relations at John Lewis and was quite animated about her newly decorated room.

Pamagor has been seen again, upsetting the young ladies and teasing the more mature women. I do believe the young ladies are just jealous as Pamagor fits quite elegantly into a size 12 while those young ladies struggle into a 14 when a 16 would do just fine. Pamagor was seen today wearing a pair of faded jeans, white fleece and Nike running shoes. He worn, according to a elderly lady I spoke to, a bright red scarf held neatly around his neck by a Gucci broach.

Gussell has kindly volunteered to take on the task of confronting this cad and demanding answers for this peculiar behaviour. I have attached a photo of Gussell in him Pamagor tracking outfit, tailored by Middle Earths own tailor in Georgedale. If any one sees Pamagor wantonly displaying his goods on any promenade, please contact us as soon as you have composed yourself with details.

Monday, 8 November 2010

The Last of the Summer Sun

Pamagor has been seen wandering aimlessly around the heather and coppice of Ozdale. The strangely mild spring has encouraged the lonely walkers and joining them this time was Pamagor. Heads turned as he walked by in high stiletto heeled calf skin brown boots, cotton bodice and tight buns, he cast a spring air. By all accounts, no tights.

Quartos ground their aircraft, Gary of Middle Smiths missing Pamagor's unexpected ramble. Angela would have been out there but fortunately she was buying moustache enhancer for Matthew of Ozdale. November spelt with a M, this being her latest quest into the land of those who have and those who have not. I have noticed that it is only the have's who collect for the have-nots. Maybe that is why they have as they get the have-nots to give to the have-nots!!!

Great news from Ozdale, no Matt is not pregnant, again, Lily Florence has sent the most amazing gallery of
photographs. That is one beautiful girl, alas they are all of her so will not be able to be published on this Middle Earth publication. Lily you know the rules, no free advertising and no self portraits. They were good.

Where has Gussell gone, does anyone know his shop number? I can telephone South Africa for 2p a minute and would love to chat to him. He has encountered some difficult times of late and need my cheery voice to guide him on the happy path of self confidence. Has he turned to religion, one does wonder when one does not know.

With only 45 Days to Christmas, my thoughts turn to Christmas gifts and what I should buy for those I love. This year I am determine to get a little something for all. Last year went by so fast it was New Year before I remembered and then it was too late. A new inner tube for Markus and maybe a new flickering light for Gary. A guide book on how to sight Pamagor for Angela, make her day. For Claudia of Middle Smiths, formally the Claudosa Era, a Tesco Catalogue. Same for Gussell. Well this much I will say, Christmas maybe 45 days away but before we know it, it will be 46 days.





Friday, 5 November 2010

Latest News

There is a man in Middle earth who enjoys dressing in his wife's clothes. He is seriously in touch with his feminine side. Fulia lock your little black numbers away for fear of Feter dancing around the house while you at work, Angela let Matthew read the rest of this blog as it may offend your delicate ear. Send the children to bed and then read this new news item with some expectations, not great but sensational. Merlin has given up worrying about her black numbers as she knows I have tried them all on already but to those who have a petite partner, it is prudent to hide those lovely frocks you worn when you where a size 10 and holding your breath.
Pamagor is his name, there I have named him, cad!!!
Claudia of Middle Earth, formally of the Claudosa Era, has invested in a state of the art safe to hold her most precious frocks, made of the most exquisite silk in fear of Pamagor rummaging through her closet. I will get someone to look into this unsettling news. Gussell of Georgedale can not help as he is still trying to explain why Grene's dress is split at the seems.
I will take on the dreary task, also I will dress to fit the occasion. Feter has offered to lend me some boots, Markus has managed to keep some great red tights, do not ask I will wash them before putting them on and Gussell has a not too shabby dress with a wee split which we can staple.
Fear not children of Middle Earth, the Cad will be caught.

Monday, 1 November 2010

That Perfect Pasta

I have always believed that a blog should not be written on an empty stomach; with that in mind I have had a half a bottle of wine before starting this blog. Hardy's Chardonnay Reserve Bin 53 to be exact.

I am attempting to make the perfect pasta, no pressure but it must be tried and I am the man to do it. I have started with left over roast chicken, newly bought flat brown mushrooms and smoked back bacon. Adding a touch of garlic, spring onion and basil, gentle browned in a huge dash of olive oil. I now have my base but how to bring out the flavours without breaking the bank. Soft cream cheese and a cup of parmesan in a white sauce with salt and pepper. There you have it. Taglitelle cooked for 9 minutes and gentle tossed over the pasta. You can try this at home but get your mummy or daddy to help, lets not burn ourselves, you are mum's little darling after all and you do stop us having our time. What is that? It has been so long I will have to Google it and get up to speed.

I do not know if you remember but I left a blog on a bit of a cliff hanger a while ago. Gary and Claudia of Middle Smiths came to visit. Claudia formally of the Claudosa era and now fat. She said it and I am only quoting her exact statement. The rest of the world sees this beautiful whisper of a lady but the woman in her sees fat!! Stay the way you are, we all love you dearly for it. Also an Audi Q5 needs a bit of muscle to negotiate the Sandton pavements.

As can be seen from the photograph, Claudia managed to acquire an Archary set for Daniel after seeing the Cupid statues in the Italian Gardens of Compton Acres. No I will not publish the photographs, but Gary of Middle Smiths has kindly offered to send them to me again for editing and will be available shortly. We get to the next bit as it were in the next blog or two. Pasta is ready but where is the family to eat it. Sleep well all and you too Travis of Markus Smith.

We regress an hour

We are here on Earth to do good to others. What the others are here for, I don't know.
We regress an hour - we have turned back time by 1 hour (UK winter time), just a friendly reminder to all those from far away who would like to telephone us.