Saturday, 31 December 2011

Last day of the year

Hogmanay and all the other ways we celebrate the coming of a fresh year. The year of the Panda and also the year that Michael leaves home for University. A year to come, of promise and tears, longing and forgiving. Robert enters his A levels and Samuel Baxter B Jones of Dorset II will be 7 – 49 in human years but I like 7 better.

The Italian zest for cars comes through in great passion with our newly acquired Fiat Panda Elaganza (see attached photo). The Tiptronic gearbox (see attached photo) delivers fast, crisp gear changing managing the awesome power from the 1.2 ltr eco engine. These engines developed by the same designers who engineer the F1 Ferrari engine, that’s not too shabby around a track. I am still getting used to the neck support one wears due to the exceptional G force when accelerating aggressively. Anyway maybe I have got to the stage of ‘Jumped the Shark’.

What does the new year hold for us? The exciting bit is the living of it and that I intend doing with great enthusiasm. I will try and do more reading, writing and more blogging, talk to everyone a little more and keep in touch via text and email. I have a story to write about our children, the Lily’s, Dan’s, Mika’s and Travis’s of our family. Hopefully this story will make them hero’s for this quick read.

I would like to make this year, the year of the our children. Little hero’s and time they were acknowledged. We throw ourselves into work, life and doing what we think will be enjoyable, for the whole family. Maybe what we want? Lets take the time to reflect, watch the 9 years olds world coming to an end, we know it is not but to her it is. Mika my Darling keep them honest.

Lastly a quick word of caution, anyone who has had a breast implant recently and are wondering if it is from the French manufacturer who have dodgy implants, check the packaging.

Angela has just seen in the New Year, happy new year Ang. Strange it is only 1pm on Saturday here.

Saturday, 17 December 2011

It is a week before Christmas

That squirrel has a tattoo, Is it meant to have a tattoo?

Merlin and all the workers that bring you all the fun, scares and waits are all working very late. I just watch a weary worker ambling to his car, quite expensive but to him at this moment in time just a car.

On our way to Onlinewebservice Christmas party, the first this illustrious firm has ever had. Just picking up Susan and then we are meeting Mally and Lord Mus of Musmead Manor and giving Mark and Helen a lift, all going to Alex's Fine Eating Emporium.

We all were drinking merrily away by 7pm, nothing better than those friends who can make you laugh and are just there for you. Food and wine, so much wine, even the waitress was drinking by the time we had ploughed through to dessert.

By now Mally and Mark were going at a great pace and Lord Mus was trying his best to put some decorum into a party that had all the signs of getting seriously out of hand, tipsy waitress served strong coffee which only seemed to give everyone an extra boost. Midnight came in a haze and we finally spilled out side to a clamped car, clamped on Mally property to rub it in. Her over zealous car clamper taking one look at my car and deciding to clamp it. Mally came zooming back and with Lord Mus sorted it out. Bed was now the only place worth going to.

We will be having a party next year and hopefully hire a taxi to and from so no worries about driving, just all fall down.

Robert is having his Christmas Golf lesson and suddenly he is perfect, they get a chocolate for every good shot, maybe that is the reason!!! Put a whole box of chocolates as a prize and he will get a hole in one.

The blue house was reached today with out a stop or a walk, the very cool winter sun shone down on this fantastic achievement, my Christmas present to my ageing body. Susan ran like to wind, as she sheds pounds her speed increases.

Now all that is left for me to do is finish off the present shopping and plan the food for a week tomorrow, merry Christmas from a windy 2deg golf course, snow on the hills and we are hopeful of a white Christmas.

Sent from my iPad=

Saturday, 26 November 2011

I meet my daughter for the first time–today

Many years ago I meet her for the first time, she was beautiful and remains so as the years go by. Happy Birthday Ang of the Dickasmithi’s. Ang is sister to Gary of Middlesmiths and Markus of Ketteringdale.

Well the blue house was still a goal to far but almost and there is always next week. This body of mine is a temple, not quite listed yet but still functions well. It is the head that stops me, it screams stop you will kill yourself, your legs are like lead and your lungs are bursting, stop. I ran through the start of all the screaming but as the house got closer the head won, just.

I am watching the boys doing their golf lesson and wonder where has all the money gone that I have spent on these lessons. Hooks, shanks, all go in the wrong direction. I think you should be able to get your money back after years of lessons still show no real results. Actually Robert is hitting the ball well and Michael is not far behind, pity the do not go straight!!

On the work front I am very busy, with more work coming in, it is a good time and will be a busy Christmas. I am not complaining as good regular work is hard to come by.

I must tell you, I am down to the last 3 in a draw to win a Apple Mac Air 13”. What a Christmas present that would be. Watch this space.

I have a Christmas list for anyone who is interested.
1. Socks, brown, beige, red or yellow.
2. A woolly jumper.
3. Fat stick of salami.
4. Cheese, olives and a crusty loaf
5. Bottle of Pinotage or any other red wine if you must.
6. Alfie Bow – his new CD, just called Alfie Bow
7. Chocolate!!

Feel free to post your Christmas list on the comments or email me and I will put them in a blog.

Sunday, 20 November 2011

A lost Year

Where has it gone, here I am all caught up in the spirit of Christmas and have lost sight of the year that has passed with the speed of light. I blame it on the squirrel.

What a year it has been, Dickasmithi expecting their 2nd baby in the New Year, Mark and Michael, each having a fall and hurting their shoulders (I blame it on that squirrel), Merlin opening the Black Pool Tower Eye and I turned 60. I did start the year on the right side of 60 but time had it own way and when asked again I was 60. Enough of the years and the rapid passing of time.

We did our run this morning and again that blue house was just too far, sometimes I really want to give up, it is so easy to lose heart but by next week I am convinced I will be ready, achieve that goal and move on to better things. Merlin ran like the wind, passing the blue house in a very casual way, silly woman, I will catch you soon.

By the way when you get your Christmas Calendar please do not spread the news too wide, I am getting too old to handle the fame and all the paparazzi that goes with it. The days of speeding away from motorbike press riders is just too much. Hang it somewhere special for you but out of the gaze of the public eye.

I have my week planned before it starts, must complete the Calendar and send it off to the printers, remember to phone Angela on her birthday,darling child needs all the love we can give, as that little darling of a daughter of hers seems to be taking all the limelight.

I digress, but I am allowed to, in a world where everything is changing, Lemonade is still made with artificial flavours and furniture polish is made with real lemons!! A point of interest, there is no Latin word for lemon?

Design, prototype, build. I really am battling to come to terms with that philosophy. Corporate speak has evolved into another language but if you completed the sentence it would be something like this.

We design your dream, create a prototype and build reality.

Enjoy your weekend and for those who are riding their bicycles, good luck. For those that are not in a relationship, life has a way of sorting itself out.

My song of the week is ‘Don’t give up.’

Sunday, 13 November 2011

The wait is over

Merlin embarks on her journey of discovery to Blackpool and the bi-annual conference. The clothes are packed, the outfits planned and now it is up to the weather, behave. Merlin, from us all at Middle Earth, enjoy the international glamour and the glory.

As for me I am exhausted, if you think a pit stop for a Formula One car is orchestrated chaos then Merlin putting her wardrobe together is the equivalent to a nuclear bomb. I just hope the rest of the 127 delegates from all over the world will be able to keep up.

We have taken our calendar shoots. Yes they are done and I must say, we did the jumps and very well done. The weather was kind to us and we set off just after 1pm. Bright sun, clear skies and no wind helped for unseasonably warm weather. We jumped, we looked pensive and we laughed. That is what its about.

Russell is that your squirrel?

I must say that with the Middlesmiths expertise we will have a difficult task to keep up but we have our shoots, bring it on, we are ready. Dickasmithi have played their hand and it is a good hand, the final will show the best of the best. Good luck all and the gods be with you. Remember to laugh.

Finally, Remembrance day, 11 hour of the 11th day of the 11th year, two minutes of silence remembering those who have given their lives for our better life. When I stand and remember I always get a cold chill up my spine, goose bumps and a connections. As the song goes;

'We'll meet again, don't know where,don't know when. But I know we'll meet again, some sunny day. Keep smiling through , Just like you always do, Till the blue skies chase those dark clouds, far away.'

Can we get those Photos done

Our weather is slightly cloudy with a mild breeze. We are destined to do our photo shoot at 2pm and finger crossed. Oh those jumps, Matt, with the help of a trampoline, jumped high. Lily is somewhat up side down more than not. Good luck to the Smiths of Africa, hope those clouds stay away and the shutter speed reaches extraordinary highs.

Bad photo taken with my webcam, apologies to the photographers among us, of the latest Merlot from Aldi supermarket, what have they put in the bottle to sell it for only £2.99, can not trust these Germanics at all.

Had a run this morning with Merlin along Branksome and almost made the blue house, Sam had to poo, so near but so far. Good run back and am ready for this afternoons action.

Talking of the beach, today the warning signs just caught my eye. Watch out for the grones. Do not play on the grones, do not play on the rocks, do not jump off the grones, do not swim as the current is severe, do not sunbath for more that 20 minutes, no sleeping on the beach, no dogs on the promenade etc. etc. I must ask the simple question, what can you do?

Merlin is off to Blackpool for a week of international conferencing and a Gala Dinner at the Hilton to finish it off. You can all imagine the desperate search for a dress. Shoes and smart casual/business and smart casual evening. M&S, Dorothy Perkins, Beales, the list go on and on, and we have not even mentioned Topshop, all went back, take back queen in hard core mode.

The stress for clothes is far greater then the Powerpoint presentation, that’s just business and these ladies let the MD worry about that, quite right.

Have you heard of a Jug? it is a form of dog and from that name I would imagine it is a pug crossed with a jack russell.

Enjoy your weekend. Is the squirrel meant to be sitting on the tripod? NO! Never mind, just get on with it.

Sunday, 6 November 2011

The plans are a foot for the next calendar.

The plans are a foot for the next calendar. Photo shoots have been booked, costumes bought, jeans wiggled into and toe nails painted. Merlin ran us through the range of shots she wanted and we set off to the beach for a practise run. Oh the jumps, we practised the pensive looks into the distance and the happy family groups, the individual serious pose and the happy glance, pretending to be surprised and then interested, head back, head left, head right. Then the jumps, oh those jumps, must be high and full of action, I am telling you, those jumps will do some serious injury to my person if we persist. Lastly we practised star jumps, I know, the jumps again, well all I can say about the star jumps are that they were bright, sort of starry. I hope the rest of you are having as much fun as we are, oh those jumps.

Guy Fawkes night and the Matriarch would be raging against the noise, the frightened animals and the senseless waste of money. Rage on, rage on, do not go gentle into this whirls of sound, twirl of light and flash of stars.
Her popular expression was,
' Oh I hate fire works with a passion.' I would go so far as saying she hated fireworks as much as she loved pasta, maybe I should have made her a pasta on fireworks night.

I will leave you with this one thought, words are good, bad and indifferent. The trap me and elude me, confuse and perplex me but they are just words. I sometimes find it difficult to put words to paper and make some sense of it all. Sometimes if words were like autumn leaves on a tree, I can make such a bonfire. 

Wednesday, 2 November 2011

Out walking in the snow - Part 3

‘Aye, he does look better, best stop licking his hand and let him wake normally.’
I opened my eyes and saw the biggest man and dog sitting next to me. He filled the space normal people would leave and all was him and his dog.
‘Just take a while to get your senses back laddie.’ He gently urged. ‘You just need sometime and then you will be fine.’
What was the name of his dog, my lips would not say the words but it was important just then to know.
‘Baxter, son, that is his name and you know who I am.’ I did and that seemed very important.
Do they know it is Christmas was playing somewhere in the space beyond him. Is it Christmas already?
‘Thank you.’ I said from deep down and I was suddenly very happy I could say just that.
‘Oh you finally have your voice back, which is good now it is time to try and get you on your feet and out of here.’ Standing up he brought back that greying darkness.

Christmas time, don’t let the bells end. Home for Christmas. But how many mountains to cross, how many days will it take to be home? Home, that special place, safe a shelter from the war.

I need to try and find a way out from here, it is too dark and when I look I see no doors but I know he is still sitting next to me, shining like the sun and it is up to me now to find the exit. How many images will it take to finish the story and tell the truth? How many nightmares, tears, to have had enough?

‘Grandfather, where is Baxter?’ He does not hear as he sleeps in the chair next to me, hand down waiting to feel the touch of the softest, warmest animal a man would ever love. He does not seem so big now and the blur seems to be lifting. I remember the fall, the coming home party.
What a night. This pansy takes the photographs you want on you television and in your newspapers, this pansy has had to grow up into a man to take those photographs and people have had to die.

‘Wondeful, you are awake, you had us worried, how are you feeling?’ someone asks.
‘I feel strangely better, what a night.’
‘Four nights and at times you seem to want to leave us.’ different nurse explained as I realised I was very thirsty.
‘May I have some water please?’
Giving me the water I noticed Grandfather was no longer there but that I knew.

Tuesday, 1 November 2011

Out walking in the snow - part 2

‘Wake up, time for your breakfast.’ Woman again
The room was bright and white, hospital, must be a nurse.
‘Good morning.’ I sat up slowly and feeling slightly of focus. The nurse, yes it was definitely a nurse, looking very efficient, clean and absolutely beautiful.
‘Are you an angel?’ I asked expecting anything.
Her eyes laughed as she smiled, ‘Too you maybe, but too my mother, I am just a girl.’
‘Where am I?’
‘You are in the Royal Infirmary, do you not remember coming in last night?’
‘No, only falling over a big man and a dog, just as big, I recall he tried to help me, then I woke up here.’
‘What did this man look like?’ Angel nurse asked intently, gentle pushing me back against the pillows
‘Massive, he wore a kilt and sporran, his dog was just as big but seemed gentle, so was he, now that I think of it.’
‘Did he have a beard?’ she asked.
‘Yes a red beard and red hair, but how did I know it was red, it was dark?’ I could see him so clearly, as if he was highlighted under a street light.
‘Well eat your breakfast and I will come around later.’

A smooth, soft tongue was licking my hand.

The image was so clear, every colour crisp, in perfect focus. Blue clean sky background resting on endless white sand, filled the space. Captured forever but never to be seen. The bullet that went through the woman’s head left only a small dark mark on her temple as she tried to retrieve her water bottle. The next image showed the dust erupting from all around her body as it hit the soft sand of the desert. So dry the water spilled and was lost forever in the thirsty soil.

My father had said that my choice of careers was for pansy boys, why was he not here to help his pansy son now?

Monday, 31 October 2011

The touch of the softest, warmest animal a man would ever love

Out walking in the snow covered back streets of Edinburgh, I fell hard over a tramp.
‘What are you doing?’ the body erupted.
‘Sorry, did not see you in the shadow.’
I have heard strange things about the night people of Scotland but this was a soft , blurry image.
‘Stay where you are.’ The large blur commanded, with him was a massive dog leaning towards me.
‘Why?’ seeing beyond the face of the dog I now realised he was wearing a kilt and sporran. Massive man just like his dog, with a great red beard and long red hair.
‘You hit your head and it is bleeding, hold still and I will bandage it.’
He sat down and took a first aid kit from his sporran, he wiping the blood off then wrapped a roll of gauze bandage around my head.
‘Right laddie we need to get you to hospital, can you stand?’
I slowly sat up and the world seemed to tilt at an alarming angle and then I seem to sink into a greying darkness.

The antiseptic light seemed to shine right through my head as I wondered why he was pointing his great big torch at me.
‘Lie still and let me examine you.’ A strange voice and then a woman said something.
‘The head wound is clean and I do not think it needs stitches, I will just re-bandage it, otherwise is he alright?’ Woman again.
‘Yes, just a nasty bang on the head, too much alcohol in him for him to have felt it.’ Strange voice again, where is the kilted man and his dog?

More tomorrow…

Wednesday, 26 October 2011

On this day

Bizet was born, many years ago but still his music lives on. Born on the 25 October 1838 and died 3rd June 1875. Best known for his opera Carmen, which is still an outstanding musical masterpiece.

The Dark Lord and Indiana Youens are in the Kinshasa for some exciting things. Oh what things you might ask but they will let us know in the span of time. We wait.

Talking of waiting, Michael is on his way back from Cornwall after a couple of days surfing, poor fellow, it has been raining on and off for the last couple of days. By all accounts the waves were good and the rain did not put them off. I suppose when you wet you wet.

Mark did a cycle race from Pietermarizburg to Durban, 106kms and had rain for most of the way, brave lad we must salute his determination. I said to him that I would want to stop every 2 hours at a Travel Lodge for a good nights sleep and then carried on.

Can Gussell last for the next 4 weeks until his first pint is brewed and ready to drink!! Ridgeback Lager and he will do house brands. Something like Pamagor and his strange liaison with Brokeback Mountain, what ferments in those barrels could down a grown man or take your fancy.

On the topic of that likable rouge Pamagor, I think I might have seen him in Deloris's car on the A31 to Dorcester last week. I have included the photo, see what you think. Is that a squirrel in the passenger seat?

Sunday, 23 October 2011

Plumbing and the consequences

Leaking taps drive Merlin crazy, after numerous hints to me with regards to the dripping tap, a new approach was taken.
’Would you mind helping me to fix the tap today?’ She asked as if I had a choice.
My father was a plumber and taught me a thing or two but the one I have always dreaded is changing a washer, especially on taps that came from a time before I was born. Anyway it is done to a fashion, different top and a sore thumb but it does shut off properly. A trip to B&Q is need soon, to replace the whole tap as Merlin will only live with a dodgy handle for so long. Enough diy, I thought I was passed all that.

October is drawing to an end with all the autumnal weather that it can muster. A high of 12 deg C, but that cruel wind does shake you up. 50 miles and hour and straight from Siberia, you know it, it  seems to get into your joints. I must admit I enjoy the sun going down at the right time of day, 6:30 and rises just after 7 and soon it will be dark by 5 and rise at 9 ish, fantastic.

This will bring out the grumpy part of Merlin as the beach will not be a comfortable day out. Her tan will go and she firmly believes that a good tan takes 10 years off you and a few pounds as a bonus. Well Christmas will cheer her up, shopping therapy and wrapping will takeover the house and deplete our meagre funds, but all is not lost, think of all the useless presents I will enjoy throwing away.
Just a word of caution, never agree to jumping out a huge birthday cake. You might ask who is going to jump out of a birthday cake for whom? It all come to us at some stage of our lives, jumping out a cake. A soft sponge? No marzipan please and I do not do g-strings, liable to scare the guests and do not forget the children, mummy's little darlings fantasy world will be rewritten. I hope never to have to jump out a cake, this is the last thing I want to say on this delicate matter.
Did you see the squirrel? Is it part of the blog?

That blue building is Life

Sunday morning run along the beach is an ever challenging quest to reach a goal, a distance to arrive at before you stop and walk. We run along Branksome beach mer, from the car park to the blue building, at the moment a building too far, without stopping, but Susan is going to get there before me. It is not about who gets there first, but that you get there. Oh well there is always next week.
Michael is on his way to Cornwall for a few days of surfing and he is being a little to casual about it for Susan to cope with. It will all work itself out and we will be off to breakfast, once she has assured herself he has enough cloths and food for the three days he will be away.
On life and mine seems to be travelling along at a incredible rate of knots or should I say megabytes per second. I am looking forward to the next 10 years of progress. I started my working life, repairing typewriter and moved on to programming the first computers. In those days computers were for programmers and their world of punch cards which then ran enormous banks of tapes. I have seen computers get smaller, faster and more capable of storing millions of documents and all on something you can hold in your one hand.
I have recorded my entire record collections lot to cassette, then to CD and now to MP3 players. Many tracks have been lost in my moving and through neglect but I still have a record player in the garage and you know what, Robert has never heard a track from a record. He would be hard pressed to be able to use a cassette player, but has no need.  iPhone and Laptop take care of everything musical today.
The next 10 years will be very exciting, those who have not kept up with technology will find it increasingly difficult to do the simplest tasks. Bring it on.
Just on the wine again, the second variety is in this blog, let me know if you spotted it? On the first I have had no response so I can only feel encouraged that you are still working it out.

Sunday, 16 October 2011

The Last of the Summer BBQ

I believe it will all end in tears, the build up to an event such as a marriage, children's play or a rugby match. The young nurse comes onto the ward for the first time and dreams of a young, attractive consultant to woo her and take her all the way to the alter. He is Gay, and she is blinded by love, this will all end in tears. The rugby match, will the tears be French Pee or New Zealand, no the Kiwis do not cry but those fragile, passionate French will have a quiet sob. They will be fortified by a good bottle of French red wine and wild, wild women. No.

Will the score be will be 20 – 10, to who? Only those romantic French know the answer. One of the youngest civilisations taking on the oldest, slam dunk I believe. Merlin wants to know why there is big smokes going on outside???

BBQ, the great British summer. The truth is that we take the best meat and burn it. The butcher creates the most delicious Pork and Apple sausage and we will burn it. Why have we not learnt?

The normal stove will offer an even heat for as long as you want it but we light a fire and hope for the best. Prime evil, primitive, cave man style, targe, they want us to drag them by the hair to our cave, why?

Talking of food and we must all celebrate Mika, Catechism done and now the heady mix of religion, family, food and wine to acclaim this achievement. Throw in a generous helping of pasta, eggs, garlic and parmesan cheese and we have the makings of a banquet to please the clan from Claudosa.

Has anyone spotted the Wine and the year it was bottled? I will be bringing you so many more bottles to spot.

Saturday, 8 October 2011

This and that with food

I heard a little girl describe her father as a big strong man who left every morning for work and later would come back looking wary and sad but when he saw me his face lit up and he would ask how my day has been. I also saw the same look for Mum and he never complained. I call that love.

I saw my father in that little girls description and also remembered his love, he never complained.

Did you hear about the college student, who was part of a pantomime, as the death reaper. Fully costumed she took a short cut through the garden of a big hospice. Nine coronaries and four already dead. One way to rotate your stock!

French chicken with a chasseur jus. Do not be daunted by the preparation it really is worth it. Buy two fresh chicken already tied up. This is one of the easiest dishes to make and tastes so fresh and full of flavour.
I did not serve it with waffles but with chips and a fresh salad. Beware everyone eats more than you would expect.

Formula 1 and Hamilton has his excuses ready. Button, super smooth, loses out to Vettel by .009 second for pole. Hamilton and Massa line up together on the second row and thank goodness the two top drivers are in front of that fight. I think the seasons title will be sown up tomorrow.

Now Rugby, Ireland beaten by Wales was a bit of a surprise and we all knew England would crack under the French flair. Tomorrow SA vs Aus. Enough said, I do happen to have children in both countries so will sit on the fence, no need to alienate those I love over a ball that is not even round. England did win the Ashes and shown India how to play cricket. For those who are not that knowledgeable about cricket, the ball is round.

The Dark Lord celebrates another year as master of all he beholds. On travel he goes to the little know side of Africa for 3 days with instructions to Indiana Youens to raise an army if he is not back by Wednesday. What will he bring back and why is he going? I would have taken Indiana as a companion on this adventure, that man knows how to deal with the natives.

Sunday, 2 October 2011

Woe be tide the Hot weather of October

Did a little work then took a drive to Merlin at the beach, also to see the wanton display of flesh in the meanest of cloth. Oh the joys of autumn.
This unusual warm spell has the boys lusting for female company, in itself a natural behaviour, but we must think on the gene pool. Always marry someone slightly better looking, more intelligent and with the family history of longevity and moderate prosperity. The boys are too young to appreciate these subtle clues but will in time and with Merlin’s nurture, they will see the benefits. In the mean time I take pity on any female who graces our home with her presents, Merlin does not understand the male urge to capture and nurture a female of the species for extramural activities. I feel for them, how would they know it is working properly, boys it takes years to work properly but the road is long and the trails worthwhile.
Talking of trails, Angela was in Melbourne with Matthew and Lily for a golf day and the girl who drove them from the airport knew Gary, what a small world but then Robert feels Gary is know in half the world, brotherly love!!
Robert says that it is expected to snow this coming week, I will keep you posted but like the weather forecast, do not hold your breath, the consequences are fatal.
Tonight we are having Ina Paarman sirloin steak  with roast tomatoes, chips and salad. Simple meal with a punch of flavour. I have always advocated healthy eating and this is just that type of meal to make you loose pounds and gain vitalilty. Hope you enjoyed your weekend and someone please let Pamagor know that Gussell is back in town and has a Skype account.
Pamagor is wooing Delores from Eastbourne. Gussell let me know that she is drop dead gorgeous. She had better be with a last name of Cathornson. Delores Cathornson of Eastbourne, has a natural ring to it. More from Gussell as soon as he spares us a minute.

Saturday, 1 October 2011

An Indian Summer for the South

It is the first of October and we have woken to a heat wave. Sounds amazing but when you think of the time of the year it changes everything.

Heating has to be turned off, summer clothes have to be retrieved from the attic and the lawn will need cutting, again, half of London is down so the roads are back to summer traffic and the beach is wall to wall bodies, naturally white but turning progressively pink. I complain on.

Gary and Indiana have just returned from a trip to darkest Africa, Kinshasa to be exact. Gary being walked through how to bribe a customs officer by the customs officer and all because he was not wearing his pith hat and linen suit? Stayed in a marvellous hotel over looking the Congo river, which I was reliable informed is 30 miles wide in places, and is reminiscent of a room with a sea view. Hopefully we will get an account of what opportunities he saw?

Angela did send some great photos of their trip to the snow and Canberra. The photo of Lily standing with a kid goat, or was it a lamb next to her reminds me of the Queen, HRH not Freddy. Maybe it is just Angela preparing her for her coming out ball one day. Or is it schooling to move into society?

Susan is at the beach and the boys are playing golf so I better take Samuel Baxter B Jones of Dorset II for a walk before he bits the iPad. Take care and have a good weekend.

Friday, 30 September 2011

Bring Him Home

He is young
He's afraid
Let him rest
Heaven blessed.
Bring him home

He's like the son I might have known
If God had granted me a son.
The summers die
One by one
How soon they fly
On and on
And I am old
And will be gone.

Bring him peace
Bring him joy, He is young
He is only a boy

You can take
You can give
Let him be
Let him live
If I die, let me die
Let him live
Bring him home

Sunday, 18 September 2011

Indiana goes to Africa

Indiana goes in search of the lost orders of the Saba stores. The ancient department of scripting has been chasing a deadline to get the information for Indiana to start his quest for the Lost orders of the Saba stores. Ancient idols have been summed to put together the facts from the ancient scripts and give Indiana the slim chance of discovering the Lost orders.  Helen of Winterbourne searches for the answers for the lost languages of Africa. It is all up to the quintessential, mercurial Indiana Youens and his courage.
The Dark Lord goes to the mythical land of Maputo, striving to keep this world as we know it alive. We can only wait to see if Doctor Pamagor will help The Dark Lord with his final battle of world survival.  Doctor Pamagor holds the key to the Q5 battle stations and the limited fire power it will support. The Dark Lord relies on the more nimble A1 BT telephone booth.
HQ waits, it is all it can do now the dye is cast. So much depends on these modern day OSD warriors.

Saturday, 17 September 2011

Always visit a new GP

Just a photograph of waves breaking into the beach at Sandbanks, it is true we do have waves, occasionally, small but the effort is there.
A newly qualified GP are the ones to go to, they know all the new illnesses. Do we get new illnesses? Anyway that is the new advice from the Granny State we live in, because of that label we also do not listen. Talking of labels, did you know that Lily means flower and Susan means Lily, odd that.
Michael means ‘Who is like God’ , bloody hell do not tell him that he has enough on his shoulders already. Gary means Spear Carrier and Mark means Rebellious Warrior. Seems alright but then Robert means Brilliant Fame. I know we can get a little carried away with all these name meanings and try read into them more then we should.
The Brilliant Fame is having his golf lesson as I write, he has grown, most of the boys are in the seventeens' and he is just 15 but holds his own when it comes to size. Paul his Coach has just offered a Kitkat chocolate to the longest drive and Brilliant Fame hits it 250 yards, winner by 100 yards. Amazing what the lure of a chocolate does.
Ireland beat Australia – Rugby World Cup. Hot on the heels if losing the Ashes – again. Dickasmithi family are in mourning, except Lily the Flower. It is all beyond this little princess, give her a good box full of Lego and a paint brush with some paint and she will change the colours of all those little blocks to make her house pink, complete with pink dog. Geoff just loves her natural freedom to be allowed to paint anything.
Mika has just completed her stage debut with rave reviews, more on that once the Sunday papers hit the stands. Maybe Spear Carrier will update us with a wee comment. Please read the terms and condition (T&C) when submitting a comment, namely keep it to less than 1000 words. Is it true that Dan the Man is taller than his mother? The Dark Lord was heard to complain about the price of a new wardrobe of cloths. Maybe a photograph, again T&C, no photos more than 1 meg.
Lesson finished time to drive the wee boy home with his kitkat clasped firmly in his little hand. Enjoy your weekend.

The Saddest Moment in the Doctor Who series

When one thinks of all that has happened to Donna Noble and Doctor Who, all the times she helped the Doctor to save the universe and he has to wipe her memory and give her back to her parents. That was the most poignant moment in all the series. This on top of the fact that she helped defeat the Dalik, those up side down dustbins with toilet plungers and cake mixes for weapons, from destroying the universe.

If you do not get Doctor Who on telly, let me know I will send you the box series.

Tuesday, 13 September 2011


Rugby World Cup, England beat Argentina but they should have lost on the way they played, some of the rest went to plan but then South Africa won by a whisker and should not have. The ways of the World cup brings out the strong and those who have the experience.

Formula 1 - Vettal wins but a win I would say for Alonso against a superior Red Bull and McLaren, the Italian fans wanted a podium for Ferrari and that is what Alonso gave them. Great drive by Button and Michael Schumacher.

Cricket - England have won the 20 twenty and the Test series but India snuff victory and then the rain comes down, as it is want to do in England. Indiana Youens has been known to take his coat off then put it on again, getting to be known as 'Coat off, coat on'.

The autumn is here, loads of rain over the last few days and the gale force winds have made some of the nation grumpy.

Read a good joke the other day;

eBay sale, Complete set of Encylopeadia Britanica - worth £200 for sale. Got married and wife knows everything.

Tuesday, 6 September 2011

The biggest tyre manufacturer in the world is Lego.

Monday, 22 August 2011

The Little Master has his Swann Song

Today England won the forth test against India, they have won all the others, but the Little Master, Sachin Tendulkar failed to make his 100’s 100. India were bowled out for 300 in their first innings, and once Sachin Tendulkar fell as the tourists followed-on, England ripped through the tail, taking seven wickets for 21 runs to underline their status as the new world number one side in the Test rankings.
Graham Swann did admit to wanting him out but also to see him achieve his swansong hundred. Will the Indian selectors pick him for his next series or go for someone younger? From the way India played I feel the next generation needs to see battle.

Pamagor has danced in the Radio theatre, The Mikado, this while looking for Gussell and Markus in the wings, wearing light pink tights that show the full package.

This is a great British Summer, rain and wind dog the holiday makers day out at the beach and when they finally see a clear day the wee wind from Siberia blows a gale and all the holiday little darlings get sand in their eyes and grumpy parents. Why do we do it?

No small car yet, but then we did have Nandos Hot Peri Peri Chicken for dinner.

The Wait is Over

You may have been wondering when I would put pen to paper again and why it has taken so long.

The wait is over and the reason for the long delay is, the time consuming task of trying to buy a second car. Michael is now old enough to drive and with the talk of petrol going to £ 1.50+ over the next year (it is £ 1.36 at the moment), this car needs to be driven only when we need the space.
The only problem with buying a cheap second car is that we want the equivalent of a Audi A1 but have the budget for a 10 year old Fiat Punto. I did go to an auction and won the bid on a Renault Mogus but they wanted another £175 more and after the look on Merlin face when we looked the car over carefully I realised it was not for us. I could have bought a 207 Peugeot, but again the consensus was, that I was mistaken in my attraction to this little French vehicle. 5 years old and only done 46,000, good points, Peugeot, bad point.
I did see a Audi A2 with 56,000 miles and 6 years old but again the error of my ways was pointed out in advance. I will post a photo of our second car once we buy one but do not hold your breath.

As you all no doubt know Gary and Claudia of Middlesmiths fame returned safely from Italy, relaxed, pleased to be home and a little more experienced in the ways of the Claudosa way of life.
Angela is pregnant with another version of that old favourite Lily on the way, Geoff and Carole are eagerly awaiting their next grandson but who knows it may be a girl, they count too.

People who we have not heard from recently are Markus and Gussell, Pamagor is investigating.

The final bit of news is that Michael received his AS level result and did very well, Two A’s and two C’s. Now we have to put our minds to finding a university to take him off our hands next year, bliss but not to be under estimated, a task that takes some cunning, far enough away not to want to come home for weekends but good enough to educate him further, tricky!! The Shetland Islands was my first thought. What you say, no University there, there is always distance learning and the Shetland Islands are a distance.

Enjoy your weekend and the rest of August as we begin our run down to Christmas.

Wednesday, 10 August 2011

Middlesmiths take on Rome

The Middlesmiths wrote:

We got to Rome after an uneventful cattle class flight to discover no phone or Internet access on my iPhone...shock horror...that was the longest 3 days in my life without a connection to the outside world but probably what was needed...
Rome is very cool, the scale of the construction of those old
buildings is something everyone should witness in their life...I've
attached a pic of the main square with the Vatican, those little ants
at the bottom of the building are people.
The best part of Rome for me though, and what I've found is the best part of Italy, is the little coffee shops, being a restauranteur is
what an Italian was created for and they create the magic of the
standard coffee shop / pizzaria (Pizza shop) /pastaria (pasta shop)
/gelateria (ice cream shop - that one had you guessing). They're on every corner often 2 or 3 of what appears to be the same shop with different table cloths, the one will be crazy busy and the one next door dead quiet... its about the guy running the place and creating the atmosphere. The pic of the place where Claudia is sitting became our favorite, run by 3 brothers, one behind the bar, one in the kitchen and one out front serving and canvassing for business.
After Rome we jumped onto a plane to head down to Sicily, the airport brought me a working sim for my iPad and communication to the outside world was re-established, although only to a limited extent as my iPhone is sim locked and i've only been able to use Skype...
Catania, Siracusa and Taormina mails to follow, got to run, off the
the old city in Siracusa now for some wine and a real pizza. Sun only goes down late here, it's been at least 30 degrees everyday (today got up to 38) so the beach has been often frequented and air cons much sought after...
The Middle Smiths’

It says it all, such insight to history, what worry’s me is that these two parents have so much children free time, Mika would wonder?

Monday, 8 August 2011

The Games we Play

I spy with my little eye something beginning with 'A'. Now we can all go through the alphabet but 'A'. Sounds like something that Mika or Lily 'would say. Now Dan the Man would say 'T' . In actual fact it was Angela who said 'A' then Mark said 'T'.
Why is that squirrel there?
Michael has sold his Yamaha YZ 85 for what he paid for it and I think that finally we are now free of petrol fumes, high revving engines and broken bones. I started the bike for the buyer and one smell of two stroke petrol fumes took me back too many years. Best to put that behind me. There is that squirrel again?
I give up what is 'A' for? Air says darling Angela. You can't see air.
Yes you can it is everywhere, just look at the sun when you shake your jacket out and the little things floating around are in the air.
No Angela, Mark shouts from the back of the kombi.
Yes you can, Angela shouts back, so what is 'T'?
Time says Mark, this is a friendly game but 'Time'? Yes time says Mark, someone comes up to you and asks have you seen the time?
That Kombi gave us so many good times, in fact I can not remember a bad trip. I hope the money that Michael has in his pocket will see him through his driving lessons and a licence. I wish him happy miles and a Kombi one day.
Why is that squirrel sitting on the desk?

Saturday, 6 August 2011

Turner Post Chardonnay Reserve

This is an exceptionally drinkable wine with a grassy note, grapes are plentiful and it is clean.
£4.59 at Tesco on special. Well done New Zealand.
Is it just me our has anyone noticed that since the Middlesmiths have been in Italy, the Italian the economy has gone on a down hill spiral? An economics expert described the Italian economy like a slow car crash. I have to be careful what I say but the world’s stock market is on the edge of another depression. Every day for the last three days the headline news has been the world economy linked with what will happen in Italy.

Get a grip, you guys in the news offices of the world, the Mafia will sort it out, it is all in the family. Trust me on this I know someone who knows someone in the Mafia.

A recent survey done by Yougov, a public watchdog, shows that 31% of all Brits think the BBC news can be trusted, 29% think the newspapers are trustworthy. 70% do not believe the press!

I said in May this year that there is life after the iPhone, it seems to be that way. Enjoy the rest of this very uncertain Euro weekend.

Wednesday, 3 August 2011

Custodians of Mother Earth

Worldwide, nearly a quarter of all mammal species and a third of amphibians are threatened with extinction. On top of that the forests are being cleared by an alarming rate, almost the size of England is lost every year. This enhances climate change, results Kenya. True story - Family walk many miles to the refugee camp, mother and father give all the food and water to their children and die along the way. How do I know? A 11 year old girl stumbles into a refugee camp with a baby in her arms and two other children walking behind. She was carrying her sister the other children were her brother and sister. She collapses and later takes the medical officers to her mother’s body.

The human price?

Death to some and others a slow starvation.

For the wildlife?

Extinction for some, starvation to the others.

That is where we are, guardians of mother earth. Do we have the courage to solve this problem?

Tuesday, 2 August 2011

Rome beckons the Middlesmiths

Following that natural urge to return to the mother land, the Middlesmiths are journeying to Italy, the home of pasta and pizza hut. The quality of cement has dropped to EU standard, so those cement flip flops will dissolve the minute they hit the water.
I should not say this but the Middlesmiths has stolen a march on those most loved Dickasmithi down under and have taken delivery of their new Audi today, just before jetting off to Italy. Sorry but it is in the public interest that I report this story. Indiana Youens was seen arm in arm with Pamagor waving goodbye to the lovely couple, did I see a tear from the manly Indiana or was it just the dust? Pamagor was howling his eyes out, not because they were going, but through pure jealousy.
On a more serious note, India lost the second cricket test to Broad, Bell and Bresnan. Jenson Button drove the race of his life and won again, followed closely by Vettel. South African rugby team lost again and Kallis is the No. 1 batsman in the whole world. That is your sports round up.
Has anyone heard from Markus and Gussell, the last I heard they were eating Tapas, it is a worrying time. Please call, all is forgiven. If anyone has any information, please post a comment.

Saturday, 30 July 2011

Warmer air comes to the South Coast

Today was slightly warmer than the previous week but that come with a cost, girl with push up bra balancing 44 DD breasts in a low cut top, leans over and gravity takes over letting those melons see the light of day and the rest of us taking cover. I do expect an ASBO (anti social behaviour order) to be served on those over ripe water melons, what were they thinking. Must be the weather. The unfortunate girl, who dressed herself, is understandable very upset. Her first port of call was social benefits, wanting to know if there is a benefit for massive melons growing on her chest, just next to the tattoo of Shrek. This fickle weather does bring out the best in us.

    Russell softened us up with a Tapas recipe and then ended with ‘Up the Bokke’ or something to that effect. I did notice that the South African Rugby team were not up to the challenge and the All Blacks did score freely, my sorrow goes out to those who support this national icon but they are just human, well Homo sapiens as opposed to hominids. I am sending Pamagor out to Georgedale to comfort Russell in his hour of need. We have a team in the UK who play rugby as well. They are all in Edinburgh at the minute celebrating their captains wedding to Zara Philip of the Royal Dynasty fame, she also rides horses. The recipes are the next best thing to sliced toast and I will cook, eat, drink and tell you what it was like.

    Board took a hat trick against India today at Lords, this is turning out to be an intriguing match. Matthew Dickens won the Audi Cup and is off to Melbourne. I see the fame and money already, Matt a small house in the country and a small dowry will come in handy.

    Tuesday, 26 July 2011

    I saw the time go

    My life has been a quilt of reds and greens that have never settled. A glimpse of what might have been, stitched by magic, I found hard to hold.
    Zoe came around today to introduce us to Harrison, her new born son and as I looked at that sleepy face I saw all the little faces I love, flash by, shocking me for a time lost and the finite time left.
    As I looked I saw a grey shadow in the deepest dark beckoning to me and I turned away.

    When the weather is good I think we need to go there, I have some sleepy faces I need to see, maybe the hundred times you asked me was enough.

    Let us go before a hundred times more and then we ask the question, ‘Why did we not listen when ten times was asked?’

    Monday, 25 July 2011

    Exposed White Flesh and Mags frightens the children.

    I decided to walk Sam at the park after duly considering what the beach would hold in store. Also did not have my dark glasses and with all the sunshine and blinding exposed flesh about, I was bound to get a little blind. Did you see the squirrel nailing a chestnut?

    The park was no better, the tops where covered, just, but the Pom’s careless disregard for proper dress sense seems to manifest itself when the sun comes out and the temperature tops 20 deg C.

    Over exposed legs, melons awaiting picking and tattoos, the mind boggles, the senses overload and still they come. Legs that should be covered are exposed, boobs that need support are left to their own proportions of gravity, always South and lads showing white, pigeon chests and the odd tattoo dazzle the dropped melon.

    Talking of getting uneasy, today Sam came to me looking strangely agitated. With the boys on summer holiday anyone might have arrived, so I did not take too much notice until he growled from the office.
    There is that squirrel again, did you see it?
    I went through and there was Mags ironing in the lounge, Robert wanted to know what she was doing and Michael came down to find out if she was alright? Talking about scaring the children, I was very unsure about what to do.

    ‘Hi Margaret would you like some tea?.

    ‘No thank you’.

    Is the squirrel relevant?

    That sort of completes the supernatural. I was picked over 102 other contestants to do the NEW Audi A7 launch. Now I know how Leonardo felt when he was asked to paint that ceiling. But he had a patron and was a little weird. I will do so much for mankind, a humble beginning with the Audi, then, to infinite and beyond is what my friend Buzz always said.

    Just to finish, Robert on his last day of work experience and was taken by the Benefit Officers to a Schizophrenia safe house for mad people. When he got there he was followed around by one of these strange people, reminiscent of One Flew Over the Cookoos Nest. He described it as sketchy. What a word, what is happening to the English language?

    What is with it with the squirrel? Did you not see the squirrel?

    What? Oh the squirrel is not important?

    Sunday, 24 July 2011

    The last of the Potters

    Harry Potter has cast his last spell, vaporized his last evil wizard and hopefully come out unscathed. We seem to have endured endless reruns of the Harry Potter saga through the boys for the last 10 years. Almost since we moved to England, that jump from beach, sun and space to small house, cold and rain. Our collection of the series starts with a VHS video through to a DVD. Make no mistake we do not have the full series but from what Roberts says we will soon. I am a little sad at Harry’s ending, what will come along to fill this epic. We have been spoilt over the last few years. Lord of the Rings was the best, while Star Wars came a close second. These three are going to take some beating. Robert has plans to see the film today and I will get a review from him.

    The papers today are almost celebrating the death of Amy Winehouse, poor choice of surname as she really was a wino. The sports section was not all about football but cricket, Kevin Pieterson gets 202 not out against India at the Oval. The little master tamed, Tendulkar caught Swann bowled Board. Board should have had 5 wickets but for two catches put down. I really think Tendulkar is getting on a little, at 38. Like Michael Schumacher, although he still seems to have good pace.

    Why the talk about what is in the papers, well we always see the Sunday headlines when helping Michael with his paper round on Sunday mornings. Soon the paper round with Michael will be a distant memory, Michael is looking for someone to take it over and we are quite happy to sleep in a little on Sunday mornings, it has been fun.

    The ultimate holiday trip

    Forget the children asking; 'Are we there yet?' The monarch butterfly migrate south every year. The thing is that they do not live long enough to fly back. This 3000 mile trip is their last but not for the swarm. Yes they actually get there but then time takes over and they will start the journey back. After a short time the oldest will stop and lay eggs, then they will die. The eggs hatch and finally their children will continue the journey back to where their parents came from. This happens every year, will one make it back before dying? Who knows, they all look the same to me.

    Talking of different facts, 'Adobe', the software company, means clay bricks.

    PC do connect with bytes and Apple also connect with bytes against popular belief that Apple connect with pips. A rumour put out by Pamagor.

    Enjoy your weekend, we plan to take it easy letting Merlin get over her cold and I will watch cricket, the German GP and hopefully have a BBQ. The boys have finished their golf lesson so it is time to go home.

    Friday, 22 July 2011

    Phone hacking affects Poole

    Rupert Murdock's phone hacking scandal finds it way to affect little Poole and to be more specific, Michael's paper round. No more News of the World, so less paper to deliver. It is such a small world that an Australian living in America, can affect so many lives throughout the world. I must say that the whole story is being continued by the press and the politicians, I have moved on and so should the rest of the world.

    There are a few truths, some newspapers get real close. Not all bankers are bad, there is a few grey areas. Goes with their suits.

    Robert did two weeks work experience and was assisted by the police, driven in a police car, was followed by mad people, evicted drug addicts, served antisocial behaviour orders on the dregs of society. That was the first day, he worked for Bournemouth City Council, the housing dept. He is going to write a diary of his two action packet weeks and I will let you into a little when I know more.

    This house is full of colds, Michael was generous enough to pass on his cold to me and I shared it around quite promptly, with the exception of Sam, we all felt this summers virus. So will now retire to bed and sleep, to dream but not to wake.

    Thursday, 14 July 2011

    The day after the day

    What a day, Indiana gathered his team for a debrief after the mission and the Dark Lord wanted a iPad 2 32g wifi 3g. Robert heads off to evict pikeys and Pakis from Council Houses and Michael meekly strolls to school.
    Indiana and the awesome team that sent 96 tonnes of product to those hungry Congolese got together on Skype and had a jolly fine time going over their monumental achievements. Indiana needs this to show his Masters what has been accomplished and the way forward.
    The Dark Side again. More Apple pips to throw around in the form of an iPad 2 with all the bells and whistles. No stock in Africa, no stock in Poole, bring on the power of the internet and we find a lonely iPad 2 at John Lewis wanting a home. The Dark Lord is happy and the iPad will have a new home in Africa without legs. Did you know all Laptops are sold in Africa with legs? Strange that.
    Robert is doing work experience with the Borough of Bournemouth. He is being show the procedure to evict idle benefit sponges and refugees. Due to political correctness gone wrong they can only evict 5 whites families, 1 coloured or asian family and .05 black families a day. What about the poor Chinese? All Chinese love a good eviction. The eviction officer decided to overlook the .0 and just got on with 5 black families. Cruel, heartless, just think of all those wee brown eyes, bewildered and lost. Having to be taken into homeless care in one of the nearby 3 star hotels.
    Time to pour a glass of wine and create tea.

    Wednesday, 13 July 2011

    The incident of the dead Pate in the cake

    You may have wondered what I have been doing for the last 5 weeks. Well I was lucky enough to be part of a team that supplied a newly built supermarket with all the product to open the doors.
    In the Congo is a supermarket, built and equipped with all the aisles, shelves and fridges but no stock.
    In comes a modern day version of Indiana Jones who promises to fill the shelves with all the stock they need. He builds team around him, one from Johannesburg, one from the UK and secures a warehouse to house the 96 odd tonnes of product to be shipped to the DRC. The ship sails on the 13th with 98% of the stock. Mission accomplished and what a journey. We despatched 5 containers.
    You might say why only 98%? 100% would have been on the ship but for a few very narrow minded suppliers and some extremely accommodating directors. The lovely Volente tried, Indiana threatened, some can not be moved. Well done guys, it was worth every sleepless night.
    Yesterday was my birthday, what a day, presents a plenty, a new chair, a music centre, cheese, glorious cheese, fruit cake, wine glasses of such a posh nature, wine, Oh what good wine, the kind you share with those very close friends. Lucky for me I have only one and she does not drink much. Michael gave me a griddle pan, not sure if it was a hint but welcome none the less. Robert a gift voucher for ITunes, how long it will take for him to lend that, only time will tell.
    Heard Lily speak for the first time via Skype and was given a grand tour of her house.
    To all, thank you. It was worth the wait.

    Sent from my iPad=

    Monday, 11 July 2011

    Reflection on my 3 score years

    First you are your mothers joy then her tether, the ball spins and you see what you think is the most important person in your world until you have another, in my case there are five. Then you watch them grow and fly and then you think you are the treasure but only in your dimming eyes. Pensively, I wonder what would grow in the space I leave behind? Something for delight of others, or pain? I do not know but feel I should.

    I have been spared the horrors of a normal marriage, the ‘I do and you don’t and who brought the subject up first,’ type of cohabitation. Public faces in private places, better and wiser for private places and public faces. It is respect, love and respect.

    It is not that I am so smart, it is that I stay with problems longer – Einstein, on why he thought he was so clever. I agree but on reflection have not stayed long on any problem. This ability to stay with it, is a gift some have and others admire or begrudge.

    We went glamping (glamorous camping) over the weekend, Friday night to be precise. Between Susan and Sally, they invited a few of my friend to a BBQ and a stay in their Shepherds Huts on Longthorns Farm. Lovely evening, great company and good food, the wine was quite good as well. The last time I went camping, I think I was about 16, now almost 60, it has been an experience.

    I proved the theory I have had for years, camping is not for me. I admire those who embrace nature in its crudest form. Living in small pup tents, sitting in front of a fire sounds romantic but the reality is, smoke in your eyes, a cold wind on your back and uncomfortable chairs to numb your bum.

    On my Birthday, Susan and I will enjoy a fine breakfast and then a walk around Corfe village, cream tea and then on to some friendly pub for dinner.

    I will leave you with this thought on life. In Piranha filled waters the monkey drinks with a straw.

    Saturday, 25 June 2011

    And the moonbeams kiss the sea

    See the mountains kiss high heaven and the waves clasp one another. The winds of heaven mix forever with sweet emotion and the sunlight clasps the earth and the moonbeams kiss the sea, what are all these kissings worth if you kiss not me. Adapted from a love poem by Shelly – the full poem is at the bottom of this blog.

    I could read these words all day and always come up with a different understanding of them. I am drawn to ‘if you kiss not me’ What is life worth if you kiss not me, if you take it literary then it is all about young lovers or someone in love with someone else who may not love back. From there you can interpret those words to clasp all of life and likes of life.

    Anyway enough of the analytical and on to Pamagor, what he has been up to is not for the faint hearted. Reported to be in Australia with the Gold Coast Meter maids and deported, riding his shopper bicycle in the buff while following Gussell? Markus from Ketteringdale swears that is true!

    The latest is the 50th Birthday party of Lady Mally of Musmead Manor. What a party, we went as well but there were so many of the rural rich and famous there we did not get a chance to even see Pamagor. Memma, daughter of Lady Mally actually chatted to Pamagor and served him a Pimms with loads of ice. I suppose the Pimms was because of Wimbedon. Memma said that Pamagor looked delicious, I am sure she has lost her heart to him, dressed in a white shirt with pink collar and cuffs, cropped black flannels and white deck shoes. His now legendary Tam O Shanty at a cheeky rakish angle and one diamond stud. Memma beware, he is a cad, leave him to your Mum as he needs a experienced, firm hand.

    Merlin and I went to Wimbledon on Tuesday and watch some very good tennis, smartly dressed spectators and had tea in the Debenture Lounge, now that is the rich and famous. I have now ticked off Wimbledon as a place I have been. We had VIP tickets from Merlin, yes that does mean Very Important Person tickets.

    Any news from Princess Ange of Dickasmithi, she is getting a red car soon. Is she getting something else, rumours persist that she is, no I will not be party to rumours let the fact speak for themselves.

    With a sweet emotion;
    Nothing in the world is single,
    All things by a law divine
    In one spirit meet and mingle -
    Why not I with thine?

    See the mountains kiss high Heaven
    And the waves clasp one another;
    No sister-flower would be forgiven
    If it disdained its brother;
    And the sunlight clasps the earth,
    And the moonbeams kiss the sea -
    What are all these kissings worth
    If thou kiss not me?

    I am now at that stage of this blog when it is publish and be damned.

    Saturday, 18 June 2011

    Today, many years ago a baby boys was born

    Markus of Ketteringdale was born on this day 35 years ago. Born in a time when television was in its test pattern stage with two hours of rubbish in the evenings. Those were the days when before you criticise someone, you walked a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticise them, you were a mile away from them and you had their shoes.

    One thing that always captures the essence of Mark is his ability to tease with such a naughty laugh, Angela was driven to tears many a day and had to be rescued. No matter how serious life wants Mark to be he can still manage to act really funny, tease, joke and laugh. It kinda brings you back down to earth again.

    We really hope you have a great birthday and remember not to waste time, I know time wastes our bodies and our minds, but this time we do not need to gets quits.

    The Matriarch and her lost Birthday

    I start tonight’s blog in a clumsy, retrospective frame of mind; you lived so much in the present and the future, a tense you invented. Soon it will be your Birthday, something you loved/hated and then expected.

    Has anyone every matched your appetite for new projects and plans, for doing so many happy, good things at the same time and you did them all by yourself.

    You watch television full of drama and nature, complained and then read your book and knitted.
    ‘Idle hands make an idle mind.’
    You so loved pasta, I remember you rationing yourself to 3 evening meals of pasta a week and then you would have some for lunch, Oh yes you did love pasta.

    Your breakfast reading was a gardening encyclopaedia with a few native birds, never happy with one project, two or three held your attention, could you not somehow contrive to be both dead and alive?

    Happy Birthday Mum.

    Wednesday, 15 June 2011

    William Harold Smith – my Dad

    Drugged dazed, morphine comforted, he lay there as the nurses had arranged him. He was stark and strange or something between. Gentle Father, across the oceans he floated wanting to fly but the bed was no plane. Out of the whole repertoire of wishes he wanted to fly. This one will never be.

    Bastards, bastards raging as he tried to hold firm against the tumour which was not unfriendly only doing what it is designed to do. A kindly nurse came forward with a syringe. As I watched his final battle against the unseen and not known to him. The invader, no imp or devil invades; this is a mere tumour without personality or humour. Malignant not benign, setting about the task of evolution, changing body perceptions, strangling faculties and functions, one by one.

    He tried to maintain his identity between the drugs that went into his veins and all the time having to come to terms with meeting his death with all his strength and gallantry. While my father dies all I wanted was to have a croissant and a cappuccino in a French café, in a village somewhere you have to fly too.

    My father died never having flown in a plane, never having left the shores of the country he was born in, he was such a gentle man.

    Saturday, 11 June 2011

    The Mammoth and a naked cheek

    Tonight I watch a show that had a Mammoth, that thought it was a Possum, a friendly Sable Tooth tiger and a Mammoth go on a long walk. Ice Age II, Meltdown. Disney Animation, why? Lily, Dan and Travis rate this as an Oscar winner, Robert and Michael watch while Samuel slept through the whole dramatic experience.
    To top all this all this we had a naked bike ride with Markus of Ketteringdale and Gary of Middlesmiths fame through the main streets of Pretoria and beyond. Claudia of Middle Smiths, formally of The Claudosa Dynasty, insisted that Gary put a scarf on as he was a little poorly, better to keep warm. Pamagor was seen following Gussell of Georgedale who had an asthma pump between his cheeks. A warning to those who are appalled by the naked, nude body of all shapes and sizes, avert your eyes and do not peep.

    The views of outside website might not be the same as Indiana Jones SD and the main switcher on and switcher off, man of Bytes unconnected. It is a little like Gussell and his humility, Tearoom, school for the humble waitress and the grand plan of converting Africa. The art of networking needs to extend to the wild coast of the Cape and the mines of Angola, someone tell Pamagor that following a naked bum through the streets of Pretoria will not help the Aboriginals of Dicasmithi to come to terms with the crazy winds created by the cyberspace battles between the Microsoft Bytes and the Apple Mac Pips.
    I live in the clouds and touch base with the Democratic Republic of the former British Empire of the Congo. Life could not be better, the challenges do not get any more exciting but tomorrow, Sunday, I leave all that behind for a day, let those battles commence and I will leave them to it.
    Just to end, I am not a vegetarian because I love animals, its because I hate plants.


    Thursday, 9 June 2011

    Grasshopper Warbler vs Wood Warbler

    I may of been mistaken, today I tried to listen to a Grasshopper Warbler and what a beautiful call it has, the Wood Warbler was singing away and I could see it singing but alas heard nothing. So it seems it is the Wood Warbler that is silent for anyone over 50. Natural England are now working with farmer to plant the winter crops that birds love and need to see them through the winter. Planting cale, mustard seed and some other wild plants stops the birds from starving. 2%of all the marginal land will save the bird population from starving through the winter. (Grasshopper warbler chicks)
    This is a simple matter of economics, marginal land brings an average of £200 per acre profit, Natural England will pay the farmer £400 per acre. All they have to do is plant some wild bird seed every autumn.
    We are watching Spring Watch on television every night for the next two weeks. This is a program on how the birds are breeding and when they came back from their migration, swallows from Capetown, Kestrals from the Ivory Coast and some even come from the Rain forest of South America. 9000 miles and the bird is no longer than a box of matches.
    Natural Middle Earth wholly supports everything that is being done to help the birds, go to and see the webcam in the nest and barrows.
    Thank you all for the comments, it makes sense for Corfe to maybe be the meeting place for all to enjoy. Holding the spirit of my people and good times.

    Sent from my iPad=

    Wednesday, 8 June 2011

    Debagged, have you ever

    The clouds holds so much rain or not as the case maybe. We will pioneer towards those clouds this coming week and lift ourselves into the clouds. More on clouds later when we are more experienced.
    Have you ever debagged someone? That is the art of pulling someone's shorts off unexpectedly. Merlin did frown on the merest suggestion of any impropriety , but when I was at school we did it often and enjoyed it. I remember standing at the swimming pool edge and someone coming up behind me and pulling my swimming trunks off, great stuff, clean, fresh air cooling you and your naughty members. The other naughty thing we did was getting someone to knee behind someone and then you pushed him, resulting in him falling over the kneeing individual. Do not tell lily, Daniel or Travis, the rest will have done it already.
    Have you ever been asked how long it is to get there? Another two hours and we will be there. That is still a million miles away. How do children measure anything, in millions? I do believe teaching has not progress any further then it was 30 years ago. Talking of children, Gussell of Georgedale has opened a tea garden in Georgedale, Deli closes and this enterprising Chelsea Pensioner opens a tea garden. So much to say about that but we must be prudent. Oh what the hell, he has also opened a school. Yep I say no more!!! That has left me emotionally drained and what is Pamagor going to do with this new 'Thing'.
    I change the subject hastily, I will never hear a Grasshopper Warbler, they are not extinct, there call is at a frequency beyond the hearing range of anyone of my age. Gussell falls into this category, where the evergreen Pamagor falls I can only guess. Gussell would know but he is not saying.
    Now just in parting, and because the blog on Corfe Castle was appreciated so much I have been thinking of those men and women of Corfe in the days when all building was done with stone. Their children were really robust, having to play on a stone bouncy castle, Wendy houses lasted forever.
    'I cannot be using wood when there is so much stone about.'
    In those days of long ago there was the Bankes Arms and the Greyhound, a typical evening after a few pints of ale they would stagger out the pub and no kebab shops they would build a fence or two for fun, with, you guessed it, stone.

    Monday, 6 June 2011

    Acquiesce - Look it up, it is a fine word.

    Have you ever tried freshly cooked smoked back bacon and sundries tomato. Take the whole rasher of bacon and drop a sundries tomato on it, roll it up and eat it. The tomato almost over powers the bacon, the bacon saves the day as you swallow and those powerful flavours mingle and the results are - well try it and let me know.

    There is a fine balance between wine and cooking, too much and you tend to burn yourself, too little and the food tastes bland. The odd little burn tends to result in fine food, full of flavour.

    Tonight I grilled some Cumberland sausages and then French sliced, I dipped them into a tomato 'hotties', now that is a glorious experience. Hotties is a tradition Italian salsa with an African twist, if you want to know just post your comment and frustrations.

    Did I see a comment from Gussell of Georgdale wanting to know who is Pamagor, it is like the pot calling the kettle black. Wiggled of Paramithi, they also have red cars,beware.

    Sent from my iPad=

    Sunday, 5 June 2011

    Birthdays and Corfe Castle

    I have it on good authority that Birthdays are fun days, fun for the birthday quests and the adventure they seemed to get out of buying that perfect present they like and think the recipient will like as well. What to buy? Lily is sorted and will be getting pink Duplo with numbers and letters on. Just incidentally Duplo and Lego is all about having no boundaries, letting the child build without restraint, numbers and letters are educational tools and as such should be banned from Duplo and Lego. I have to be careful as Lily's mum is a teacher of good standing and will have an opinion. Anyway, enough of the Dicasmithi, which is closer to the Kingdom Of Paramithi, because the Kingdom of Parasmithi also has red cars.

    I started this blog in April last year and the one year anniversary passed without any fanfare as we toiled on in our quest to put food on the table. Lily yesterday and Julia Fay today, both Birthday Girls and this is what triggered my little grey cells to find out when I first started to blog. Happy Birthday girls. Robert and Jessica at Julia's birthday.

    During the 17th century, Corfe Castle was home to the Bankes family, who were staunch Royalists. Following the outbreak of the Civil War, the Castle was attacked by Parliamentarians. With Sir John away from the Castle, defending the home fell to Lady Bankes and her family, 80 defenders, a cannon and some loyal servants. They successfully held the Castle. Two years later however, during a second siege, Lady Bankes was betrayed by one of her garrison, Col. Pitman. The Parliamentary Troops blew the Castle up. Lady Bankes survived the siege and moved to her family home in Middlesex. She died there 1667.The Bankes family still own most of the land from Corfe to Kingston Lacy and beyond.

    I went for a walk around Corfe Castle, passed the Greyhound pub where we have had many a meal, one I remember well, Russell, Irene and Matthew were visiting and we took them for the customary visit to Corfe Castle and Russell made the comment after seeing scaffolding around the left tower.
    "How long are they going to take to rebuild this Castle?"

    Pausing at The Bakers Arms for lunch brought back floods of memories, Granny June and her half pint which she savoured. Gary and a huge Ploughmans, while Claudia enjoyed a Traditional Chicken Pie. Matthew's mother and father on the day we all had steak and a pint or two. The boys and their ultimate mushroom burgers, always no matter the time of the year, burgers are best.

    I remember Mark having cycled to Corfe and about 10 years later Michael doing the same thing. One day we might all meet at Corfe Castle and take a walk and a pint there.

    Wednesday, 1 June 2011

    The Muscle Woman gets her way

    Indiana goes to the mountain
    Just a quick catchup on Indiana Jones SD and the Muscle Woman. Indy, I am allowed to call him that, sought out O'mage Mountian, Violente and the resourceful Indiana joined forces and gave in to Muscle Woman?
    Markus and Travis have a great photo gallery, Travis poses and Markus kindly takes the photographs. Angela has used her allocation of bandwidth in Dicasmithi, so will not be able to throw in her hand in response. Also she has gone over to the dark side, when you have lost your way their are so few who can help you back. The bits vs the pips, an age old contest, the second bite of the apple will only enhance the tournament.
    Gussell of Georgedale has posted a very illuminating comment while catching up with his ever growing pressure of money, the making of it and his happiness derived from it. Pamagor is feeling a little put out as he was not mentioned in despatches. Why touch the space bar twice for a period, if a whale is stranded and dies on the beach? Tell the world how sad it is but remember to text your friends, such an occasion. Pamagor come home and save the world against the morans.
    There are many different dung beetles, when the elephant has a poo, they release a fresh smell which only some dung beetles can small, once they have taken their fill, that dung starts to smell different and other, bigger dung beetles attack that mound of poo, also taking a small ball off to lay their eggs in and leaving the larver to hatch in scrumptious poo.
    Lily Florence of Dicasmithi, close to the people with the red cars will be celebrating her unique birthday tomorrow. Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Lily, Happy Birthday to you. Enough of that when are we getting another work of art?life goes by and still you remain so far away, remember when you wean your mum off purity and onto olives throw in a brochure of Dorset.

    Monday, 30 May 2011

    Secret Massage

    All in the interests of work, I went to Alex de Fraitas for the Portuguese translation of an ancient document for Indiana Jones SD, in Lansdowne. Sitting quietly waiting for Alex to serve her last customer, a very good looking girl walked in and asked if I knew Pamagor? Well when one is put on the spot, one does extraordinary things.
    'I have been known to know him sometimes.' I said on the spur of the moment. Well what would you do if a good looking girl asked you that question? I know there are my most loved women and girls out there who are giggling at my male weakness, but all she did was give me a card!! Honestly, I was still reading what was on the card and she was gone. I have attached the card in the spirit of transparency.
    Indiana Jones SD and The Dark Lord, helped by Muscle Woman, make compelling argument on the merits of Portuguese translations and the quest for that Omagesd ancient papyrus. Ask Indiana or the Dark Lord if you do not believe me. The Dark Lord can be found in the clouds and Indiana is fighting his 10,000 inbox's on his PC.
    Gary of Middle Smiths was seen cooking Pizza late last night before Claudia arrived home after showing off her wares to the African public, earning pasta bowls of money at a fare. The Family are the most important part of this exceptional woman life, love her to bits, Gary of Middle Smiths does as well but he is the brother of Angela of Dicasmithi, now that is something special.

    All for now citizens of Middle Earth, may the spirit of Pamagor be with you.

    Saturday, 28 May 2011

    The Dicasmithi’s were seen reading this blog

    After months of trying to get some news from The Dicasmithis they have been logged in, in the last few weeks. Angela of the Dicasmithis is a teacher, we all know that, but she is now going to specialise in Computer Technology and Religious Education. Feeling strongly about how children approach this relationship, Angela goes with the conviction that you need a little moral fibre before opening the very uninhibited world of cyberspace.

    Talking of wonderful worlds, did we? Mika Mouse of Middle Smiths must be the most sophisticated child I have ever met. As a little girl her mother, Claudia of Middle Smiths, gave her olives to snack on. I know most little girls would have purity or maybe Boudoir biscuits but Mika loved olives and I would just like to say I have just eaten a sundried tomato in olive oil and it was totally exquisite. I followed that with a stuffed green olive with a feta cheese and those flavours combined to make the average steak a boring alternative. Now Lily Florence of Dicasmithi, insist on olives and sundried tomatoes in future. Wean your Mummy off Purity and let's celebrate the natural vegetables and fruits the land has to offer.

    Well Chelsea Garden Show is finished and the Royal Agricultural Society are very pleased with the turnout, we have been worried about Gussell and Pamagor, guess what they were not at Chelsea. No those fuchsias were actually grown by some Yorkshire traffic warden. Just for your information, Fuchsias are widely-cultivated tropical plant or bush. Flowers: purplish, reddish, or white, drooping. Sounds like a combined description of the two of them. I will be contacting Markus of Ketteringdale to check if everything is above board and kosher.

    Michael has bought £600 surf board, lost all hope of getting any waves in the UK he has bought this board to paddle to where there are waves. It is called a SUP and is a paddle board. Yes you can stand on it and paddle to the waves. You might think I am joking so I have attached the photograph.

    Friday, 27 May 2011

    The Girls I love

    Angela of Dicasmithi which is closer to Kingdom Of Paramithi because the Kingdom of Parasmithi also has red cars, Claudia of Middle Smiths formally of the Claudosa era, Mika of Middle Smiths, Lily Florence of Dicasmithi which is closer to Kingdom Of Paramithi because the Kingdom of Parasmithi also has red cars, are all the girls I am allowed to love before Merlin beats me. I know it is not the boy thing to love girls but I do, most I contributed to their very existence. Claudia, brave girl, joined our family and hopefully has never regretted a day in this magically world of Middle Earth. Girl's life is one of those special gifts, like a box of chocolate, full of dreams. I hope you all are happy bunnies, forget for a moment the parents, brothers, grandparents, uncles and dancing teachers, think on the life you have before you and how you will take such delight in conquering it. I love you all.

    Has anyone heard from Gussell of Georgedale, Pamagor has also gone a missing?? No, they could not be together! Two handsome, fine studs exploring life. Gussell dresses so manly, down to the levis and boxers while Pamagor makes so many dress statements I lose track. I refuse to believe that Gussell would take off for a romantic weekend with Pamagor. Pamagor is persona non grata in Dicasmithi, after the Gold Coast Meter Girls debacle and Gussell did close the only Deli on Georgedale? Maybe they have eloped!!! Tony of Thorndale will be upset. Tony has just moved into Thorndale and is rearing battery pigs for salami. Fine gentleman, that he is.

    With this frightening news I hope you enjoy your Bank Holiday Weekend.

    Thursday, 26 May 2011

    That shy flower who missed Chelsea

    Not all flowers will see themselves at the Royal Chelsea Flower Show. You can see from the photograph, that wee blossom was overlooked. The Matriarch loved this time of the year, Chelsea and all its grand gardens, flowers and landscaping. I celebrate my love for her.

    The Madness Part 2

    You might think I have forgotten but contrary to popular beliefs I am not senile as yet. My Grandfather, on my Father's side, was one of those people who howled at the moon. No do not dismiss him for that small flaw; he was a child of the orphan migration. William Smith, named by his adopting family, did not know the name he was born with; in South Africa they would adopt these children from England and give them their family names. William married my grandmother; also an orphan from England, in 1909 and he went to work with the railways. My grandmother was left at home, happy I hope, in her house, children and married bliss.

    Nothing could be further from the truth. William was a man who took his frustrations out on his wife, many a violent beating took place until my father said enough, at that stage a 15 year, and he took a beating for disagreeing with his father. At 15 he left home and set about finding a place to live, a job and peace. He never ever spoke to his father again. Just before he died, he spoke to his mother, time had hardened her opinion of him and it was not the best of telephone conversations. I cannot pass an unbiased judgement but it was my father and I cannot understand how someone who gave birth to her child, nurtured that wee boy and finally, when he was at the end of his life, shunned him?

    We have the people below to thank for all of us being here:

    'The Children's Friend Society was founded in London in 1830, as "The Society for the Suppression of Juvenile Vagrancy, through the reformation and emigration of children". The first group of children was sent to the Cape Colony in South Africa in 1833 and did not stop until 1960, Nine years after I was born and 32 years after my father was born. Did they do the right thing?

    Tonight I celebrated my love for food, Merlin brought home eggs from her fellow work colleges and being true to the British way they are the most nurtured chicken ever. Those conscientious wives even go so far as to dating the eggs when laid (see photo). I used the leftover chicken from last night’s roast chicken, fried with garlic, bacon, chilli and red sweet pepper, left to simmer for 10 minutes in 200ml of chicken stock while the pasta was cooking. Just before the pasta was ready I tossed in a cup of frozen peas and drained the pasta. Now the exciting bit, specially dated eggs (2), dollop of olive oil and crushed black pepper, mixed and then mixed with the pasta and peas, finally added to the chicken mix, and we all ate a hearty supper.